QUESTION:
I am talking with a girl who I believe goes to a
digressive COC. She told me up front she was
divorced via her husband having an affair.
About 5 years ago she got divorced due to her
husbands cheating. She has told me he cheated
multiple times and even had a child outside the
marriage. She said he confessed to the
cheating. Even after all this she tried to work
it out with him, but he would not even go to
marriage counseling for which she pleaded with
him to go. Given his inability to be faithful
and not even want to try to save the marriage,
she finally decided to divorce him and has been
single ever since. I asked if she was faithful
to her husband during their marriage and she
said yes. Is she scriptually ok to marry
again? What steps should I take to make what
she is saying is true, and also make sure the
church would be ok with it if we got married?
Also what steps should I take if she is willing
to convert to the one cup COC?
Thanks
ANSWER:
If the facts are as you relate them, she has both the right to divorce him and
remarry another man, according to Matthew 19:9 “And I say unto you, whoever
divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits
adultery; and who ever marries her who is divorced commits adultery,” and Matthew
5:32 “But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual
immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is
divorced commits adultery.” It is always regrettable when marriages are destroyed
by sin. Marriage and divorce should both be taken seriously. Neither should be
viewed as a casual thing. Too many times people enter marriage without realizing
the far reaching importance of what they are doing, and the exit a marriage in the
same way. Our Lord gave one and only one reason for divorce and remarriage. To
disregard his teaching is wrong, in fact just as wrong as going beyond his teaching
and adding additional reasons for divorce and remarriage. Let us all do everything
we can to preserve existing marriages, but never deprive one a right given to them
by the Master Himself.