QUESTION:
I am talking with a girl who I believe goes to a digressive COC. She told me up front she was divorced via her husband having an affair. About 5 years ago she got divorced due to her husbands cheating. She has told me he cheated multiple times and even had a child outside the marriage. She said he confessed to the cheating. Even after all this she tried to work it out with him, but he would not even go to marriage counseling for which she pleaded with him to go. Given his inability to be faithful and not even want to try to save the marriage, she finally decided to divorce him and has been single ever since. I asked if she was faithful to her husband during their marriage and she said yes. Is she scriptually ok to marry again? What steps should I take to make what she is saying is true, and also make sure the church would be ok with it if we got married? Also what steps should I take if she is willing to convert to the one cup COC? Thanks
ANSWER:
If the facts are as you relate them, she has both the right to divorce him and remarry another man, according to Matthew 19:9 “And I say unto you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and who ever marries her who is divorced commits adultery,” and Matthew 5:32 “But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.” It is always regrettable when marriages are destroyed by sin. Marriage and divorce should both be taken seriously. Neither should be viewed as a casual thing. Too many times people enter marriage without realizing the far reaching importance of what they are doing, and the exit a marriage in the same way. Our Lord gave one and only one reason for divorce and remarriage. To disregard his teaching is wrong, in fact just as wrong as going beyond his teaching and adding additional reasons for divorce and remarriage. Let us all do everything we can to preserve existing marriages, but never deprive one a right given to them by the Master Himself.